This Party Sucks: Long Live The Lost Well

When you come up in the DIY rock and roll underground, the community that goes with the music is everything. Unlike most sub-genres of humanity, two punk rockers and a guy in a Slayer shirt will typically find something to talk about over a cheap PBR. The places that house those shared interests are important. These spots are somewhere for the weirdos to hang out, to hear their weird bands, and champion their outsider passions, are crucial for people to feel like they belong somewhere. To hoist drinks in their air in both celebration and sadness. There is often more than people drinking together in a bar. Instead, it’s the social glue that keeps people’s hearts and minds together, too. People like us, we bond over a Crass tape, or get excited about those annual Motorhead parties. Our culture of rock and roll is a brick of our identity and when you’re the kid with the Black Flag sticker on your skateboard who becomes the adult with the son in a Stooges shirt, you take shit personally when it comes to the things that helped craft your identity.

That’s why losing The Lost Well sucks so hard. 

Just in case you didn’t hear the news: Austin’s best punk + metal + motorcycle church of buffoonery is closing down. The owners of the building sent the bar owners an impersonal TEXT and told them basically, “Tough shit. We took the money and ran.” And now Austin is losing the clubhouse for loners, a place that has been a home for a lot of people when they had nowhere else to go. And now it’s another casualty in the Hall of Fame of What Once Was. The Lost Well, the last stand for punk rockers, ska nerds, rockabilly dorks, heshers, and everyone in between is losing their clubhouse.

Austin is getting lame. Stupid mixed-use condos are going up everywhere, and plenty of places that were once cool are losing their leases for some whack shit to pop up in their place that no one wants. And now it’s The Lost Well’s turn. This city is supposed to be cool, it’s supposed to be “The Live Music Capital of The World,” and instead, it’s become the home of corny themed bars that suck and will eventually close in a year. (I’m still mad about Gourmand’s. Murrays sucks.) We don’t need another pickleball bar. (See: Giddy Ups. Fuck those greedy owners for selling out.) Speaking of themed bars, if whoever bought the building tries to rip off Frazier’s and Nickel City, I’m bombing the motherfucker. We already have four bars huffing that concept’s dong. We don’t need another. 

The owners of The Lost Well’s building are assholes. In a message saying, “It was business,” well, go fuck yourselves. You’re greedy dickheads who are taking away a community center for people who love that place. “The Friendliest Bar You Were Scared to Walk Into” stands and once you made it through the doors and into the bar, no one cared if you’re stopped in our odd curiosity or because you read a review on Yelp. It’s a “whatever, dude. You’re here and it’s cool.” Whatever tea house or restaurant that’ll come in and sell $16 tacos will never hold the value to the community that The Lost Well does to many people.

During COVID, the people who love the bar fought to keep the lights on by donating, buying merch, and attending virtual rent parties—I even shot a whole spoken word special just for kicks. The people who love the bar spend their time there because it’s a place for solace, meeting friends, or making new friends. I have sat at the far end of the bar near the woman’s bathroom, waiting on no one, but needed to be around people I could ignore for a drink to quiet the noise in my mind. I’ve also had someone’s drink ready for them after their show or shift ended and it was time to party. I have taken squares I’ve met in my adventures to the bar, only to initially scare the shit out of them but have them leaving with a t-shirt in hand. (If you’re reading this Marcello, Andy and Tasha, please make a shit ton of merch. You know we’re all going to buy everything. I gave one hoodie away to a bartender in Sydney and another to a friend in New Orleans. And I’ve given all my shirts and hats away, too.)

We’re losing the good bars around town at an alarming rate. Soon, we’ll be left with the Denny’s parking lot. Which, compared to some of these new joints, seems like a dream. The Lost Well is a place where bands coming up have a shot to be heard, not for any reason other than the staff thinks they deserve a chance.

I’ll spend my birthday at the bar. I’ll be there after The Misfits show, and I’ll be there a lot until it closes. And you should, too. And I’ll also be at the funeral, too. Side note: who isn’t going to miss pissing in that gnarly trough and murdering the ice? Simple pleasure. 

Owner Marcello Murphy and the crew deserve better than being told they have 60 days to pick up their toys and go home. If there’s any example of what’s wrong with “new Austin,” it’s right here. Till then, get the Jameson ready and crank up the Motorhead.

To support the staff and community at The Lost Well, donate and share this GoFundMe page created in the wake of this awful news.

Long live The Lost Well.

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